I don’t usually respond to negative comments, but I am compelled to do so here because I feel there is an opportunity for dialogue on a subject that many struggle with and is very relevant in today’s times.
As the most popular post on my blog, ‘Why Don’t You Look More Like Your Mother?’, continues to receive a lot of attention, one recent comment has brought me back to the subject of race, specifically, mixed race, and the desire of some truly ignorant people to deny the existence of others, because they do not ‘fit’ the stereotype of how ‘mixed race’ people should look.
Here is the comment left on November 3, 2017:
I’m sorry, but just like your mother’s biological father was kept from her, your real mother was kept from you. Eartha pretended to have a baby that she didn’t actually have.. she adopted and pretended that she gave birth. It’s sad. There is nothing wrong with adoption, but lying and pretending is wrong!
I’ve seen countless black women with half white children..and they look HALF white AND even if the child looks more like the white father..there are still traits from the mom.
You can’t hide DNA and you can’t fake it.
Your childhood pics are of a little WHITE girl..not a biracial girl.
Heidi Klume is about as white as anyone can get and her mixed children look MIXED and LOOK LIKE HER. I think it was a disservice to you to lie to you. I also don’t know why Eartha felt she was Light-SKIN..she was brown and didn’t resemble anyone biracial.
These pics show a completely WHITE child who looks absolutely nothing like Eartha Kitt.
It’s one of the biggest lies ever told!
Eartha had such a distinctive look, her biological child would look like her in SOME way. There’s absolutely no way anyone can believe that these pics of a white child, actually came from..[biologically] from Eartha Kitt. Sorry!
People who know me will tell you that I tend to shy away from controversy. My mother was the outspoken one in the family, but since she is no longer here, I will step up and let my voice be heard.
I do not bring up this person, whose real name I do not know as he or she only identifies themselves as ‘Truth’ (which in itself is telling), to ‘gang up’ or ’embarrass’ him or her. I use this person’s commentary to show how ‘being different‘ makes one a target. OK, I know many of you are rolling your eyes and saying “Duh, Kitt. Tell us something we don’t know”, and I’m certainly not throwing a pity party here or feeling sorry for myself. But, I do find it interesting that because (in this instance), I don’t fit the multi-racial look for this person, they feel compelled to deny that I am even who I am.
This is something my mother struggled with throughout her life. Because of her skin color, she was called a ‘Yella Gal’ as a child in South Carolina, and that was a memory she carried all of her life. As an artist of color, record labels wanted her to be ‘Jazz. Gospel. Blues’, and she fought that need to be ‘categorized’.
Now, one of the things I often mention when I speak or give interviews, is the great joy my mother got from having given birth to this ‘mutt’, a child who would be hard to confine to one racial box. She would say to me, “You are like a walking United Nations. You either break every rule or fill every quota, depending on where you are.” My mother despised society’s need to neatly categorize everything. Especially people and art. When asked what race she identified with, she would say, “the human race”. This is not to take away from those who choose to call themselves whatever they choose. That was what she felt was the beauty of ‘Freedom’. The right to choose for oneself. She was not one to judge. My mother raised me to respect EVERY thing and EVERY one, and see the beauty in ALL.
So, when a person says to me that I was adopted, and my mother hid that from me all my life, because I don’t possess the ‘features’ that person feels I should have, is in a way, denying my very existence. And, I feel, it is that need to ‘fit another person’s idea of what one should be’, that creates conflicts in all aspects of our world.
Please don’t get on me saying that there’s nothing wrong with adoption. I know that. I think adoption is fabulous. I am only making reference to my self and my life with my mother, in response to what Mr. or Ms. ‘Truth’ has said.
A bedtime story my mother often read to me The Sneetches, by Dr Seuss. If you aren’t familiar with it, I highly recommend you get it, in fact, I think it should be a must-read for everyone.
It’s the story about a group who felt superior to others because they had stars on their bellies. Along comes a salesman who can put stars on the ones that have none, and then the original star-bellied Sneetches want their stars removed so they can justify their nastiness. As the story progresses, the groups go in and out of the ‘star on/star off’ machine until no one is sure who is who anymore and realize after they’ve spent all their money trying to acquire a valid reason for being mean, that it was time, energy and money all wasted.
The irony is that if you look past hair color and skin color, I actually do look like my mother. No, I do not sound like her or have her vocal abilities. That talent seems to have skipped a generation, and now resides in my children. I do have her legs. One day I may show them to you. And, I have the gift of the love she gave me and the example she set on how to live a life to its fullest with kindness, acceptance and giving.
May we all strive to live that way.
Remember. Treasure. Love. Kitt